• (I work the floor at an independently-owned menswear store. The owner, my boss, spends a lot of time at the shop, and tries to keep prices as low as possible to help our city’s large homeless population get good job interview clothes. A clearly homeless man is wandering around the store. The other patrons are giving him looks.)

  • Customer:

    “Excuse me, sir?”

  • Me:

    “Yes, ma’am?”

  • Customer:

    “I think you may want to call security. That… bum over there, he keeps feeling the suits and muttering to himself. I’m just sure he’s planning to steal one.”

  • Me:

    “Well, ma’am, I think that’s quite unlikely.”

  • Customer:

    “Oh, come on, you know how they are! I mean, I’d keep an eye on him even if he wasn’t homeless!”

  • (The homeless man in question happens to be Hispanic.)

  • Me:

    “We don’t discriminate here, ma’am.”

  • Customer:

    “Well, I’m sure the owner would want to hear about this!”

  • (I give in and call him over. The customer explains her concerns. As a black man, my boss isn’t happy with her racism, but agrees to talk to the homeless man.)

  • Owner:

    “Excuse me, sir, are you finding what you need?”

  • Homeless Man:

    “Well, not really. I’m hoping for something versatile in a dark or navy wool, but most of the options in my size are cut American style instead of European, which fits me a little better. Not to mention they’re all pinstriped, which I really don’t have the build for, you know?”

  • Owner:

    “I… yes, I understand. I think we may have some options over here, if you’ll follow me. How did you know all that?”

  • Homeless Man:

    “Back before I lost my job, I used to be really into this stuff. I’m not looking for anything fancy, just something I can use to look good for a job interview later today.”

  • (My boss helps him find something he likes, and comes to the counter with him. The suit is priced at $87.)

  • Homeless Man:

    *digging in his pockets* “Hang on, I think I’ve got enough.”

  • Owner:

    *to me* “Take my card. I’m buying it for him.” *to the homeless man* “Here. The suit’s yours, on one condition. After your interview today, you come back and apply for a job here too. Got it?”

  • Homeless Man:

    “I… oh my God, thank you. Thank you so much.”

  • (Two years later, that formerly-homeless man is my manager, and has a little girl with his new wife—the owner’s sister.)

joshfjelstad:

this weekend i saw some kids driving down the sidewalk in a toy jeep and i thought to myself, “that would be fun. they should make an adult version” until i realized what i was thinking of was just cars. we already have an adult version of toy jeeps. it’s called a jeep.

(via attaching-wings-to-anchors)

(via ironthrons)

pizzaforpresident:

Self-control is saying “no, that’s enough episodes for tonight”

(via laugh-addict)

By far
the finest tumblr
theme ever
created
by a crazy man
in Russia